I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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