Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
