Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
