I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Randomize
