He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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