and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
