I wish I could teleport
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
