i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
