is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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