Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
