Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
