but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
