oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Randomize
