guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
