Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
only you would photoshop your dick
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
