Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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