and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Randomize
