16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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