I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
