Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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