He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
