wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
