it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
My penis needs a shock collar
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize