THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
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