i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
