Ambien. No doubt about it.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
