I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
