that's an acceptable place to lick
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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