Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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