with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
