How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
