Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Drunk is not a location!
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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