We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
