I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
i drank out of a bidet.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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