Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
