And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
