I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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