rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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