mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
