I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
vagina is talking i cant
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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