are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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