im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
