Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
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