well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
