question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
fuck your aforementioned shoe
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Are my feet made of real feet?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
