What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
