oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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