lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
