It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
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Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
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She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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