Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize