Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
