The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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