so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
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