i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
