And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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