So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
