you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
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I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
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