you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Randomize
