I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
