I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Randomize
