I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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