Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
